Do you think you know all about cats? How much do you really know? They are mysterious creatures. One thing is clear. Cats are comfort-seeking beings who would rather be couch potatoes most of the day than exert the energy necessary to walk across the room. If they could get delivered to the moon, they’d simply sleep there.

Their energy-conserving mentality extends to communication with humans. If cats decided to start talking to us in ways we could understand, they wouldn’t waste any energy in the process. Enter haiku, one of the most efficient vehicles for conveying thoughts and feelings. Each has only 17 syllables, broken down into three complete sentences of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, respectively. Perfect for cats. (There’s 365 of them in the book - a cat haiku per day for a year, starting whenever you read your first one). 

Cats don’t pull punches. If you think a particular haiku is hurtful, offensive, or unfair, rest assured that cats couldn’t care less. 

If you fancy felines, one or more are probably curling up in your lap right now, preventing you from moving and living your own life. Since you’re not going anywhere anyway, give in, kick back, and enjoy paging through this fully illustrated cat-inspired book. Be sure to read the Intro pages first! The more of these haikus you read, the closer you’ll get to matching wits with your cats. But let’s be real. You’ll never really get there. 

Do you ever feel like you’re going nuts trying to keep your cats happy no matter the cost to your own sanity? Are you trying to get into their little heads?  Here’s the good news: you’re not going crazy through any fault of your own. No, you’re felines are driving you crazy! Read the following poem for solace, validation, and reassurance. Repeat the title to yourself several times a day like a mantra. It’s a LOT cheaper than going into therapy. 

 KITTIES ARE STRANGE 

Kitties are strange

Of that there’s no doubt

Yet we try so damn hard

Just to figure them out

They will stand by you

But would just as soon sell you

You don’t know what they’re thinking

And they’ll never tell you

Something about them gets our adoration

Though they often want to cause our indignation!

How to explain our mysterious cats? —-

Kitties are strange

Let’s just leave it at that!